prestonajm (prestonajm) wrote,

The MTV Video Music Awards were last week. The Killers closed the presentation by performing "When You Were Young." Or as some people like to say “When You Were YYYYYYOUNG!!!!!!”

I think The Killers are trying to make the mustache look cool. Brandon Flowers looks like a gay porn star with his new facial hair, and Ronnie Vannucci looked like Jason Lee with his new stash.

Al Gore discussed global warming on the show, because the only thing hotter than 50 cent is global warming.

Get it?

Gore discussed this issue by using a lot of electricity through the jumbo screens to display evidence of global warming. So in a way, he was adding wood to the fire.

Axl Rose presented something on the show, but I can't remember. It was probably for the award for the best wash-up artist for the year. His appearance alone taught me what heavy alcohol and drugs can do to someone.

I attended a family picnic today, which consisted of a piñatas that the little children beat ruthlessly with a bat.

The chubbiest boy swung the hardest out of all the little kids. Clearly he had the most motivation.

This act of coveting Jolly Ranchers and bite size Snickers taught me that an Italian is deadly with a bat in their hands, no matter what age.
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